Thanksgiving Weekend

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This Thanksgiving Gina, the boys and I spent a few days in Garland with Gina's family. We also made some visits to see the Garland Gooches while were in the neighborhood.

The long weekend started with us going to Gina's parent's house on Thanksgiving morning. The boys were all decked out in their new sweater/shirt combo that we bought for a Christmas picture (that has yet to happen), and they looked pretty dapper if you ask me. I was pretty excited to get there, as well, especially for all of the delicious food. The first thing I saw when I walked in the door was my favorite strawberry jello salad, and I knew it would be a good day.

After spending some time playing and watching football, we sat down for lunch. We all went around the table to told everyone what we were thankful for. What I wanted to say is that I am thankful for strawberry jello salad, but I thought that might not set a good example for the children. I wish I had thought ahead to record everyone's comments, but I was too focused on the food.

We spent the rest of the day watching the Cowboys play, napping, playing, visiting and eating some more. After everyone went home and the house was quiet, we all crashed pretty hard.

On Friday, we went to Mayberry Gardens to visit Big Daddy, then we swung over to Uncle Clay and Aunt Gail's house to see them for a little while. Hal and Jessica both stopped by while we were there, and it was great to catch up with them. Jessica had just returned from her first round of shopping, which started at 6 a.m. That is real dedication! We went home so the boys could have a nap, then we took Granny and Granddad out for dinner that evening. For the second night in a row, we crashed once we hit the bed.

On Saturday, we wrapped up the festive weekend by heading out to Cedarbrake Farm for my Uncle John's annual Wing Ding. We had a great time catching up with folks we don't get to see very often, and the food was amazing. The boys loved playing with all of Callie Kay's toys, which was good because it was too cold and muddy to have a hay ride. By the time we packed up and headed back to Garland, we were all beat. We loaded up all of our stuff at Granny and Granddad's house, and made the final stretch to our house.

The entire week was a lot of fun, and we can't wait for Christmas to roll around so we can start the celebrating all over again.

Cognitive Complexity

What is it about parents and their desire to save face in public? I'm talking about other parents, of course. Not me. I don't care what other people think about my parenting. But I'm talking about all those other parents out there. These parents want everyone to think they are in control, that their children have self-awareness, that they have been cultured in the finer ways of socially acceptable behavior. These parents never let their children play chase in and among the racks of clothes at Target. These parents strike deals with their children at the entrance of the grocery store to either stay in or out of the shopping cart, then actually use the words "breach of contract" when the children don't comply. These parents try to reason with their children, who lie prostrate on the floor of Walmart, that just because Lightning McQueen is on that can of tuna fish, it will still taste like tuna fish. Oh bless their hearts, these parents. What these parents need to understand is that this has nothing to do with their parenting. It doesn't. Conscious Discipline, Love and Logic, Dr. Spock? These are all great resources, but if you want to understand what makes children tick, you must understand how their brains are organized. You see every child has a complex database filled with every possible scenario you and your child might encounter together. Each scenario then has two possible responses: Pride and Mortification. For example, say you are eating in a restaurant and when the food is delivered to your table, it is discovered that there is something on your child's plate that he doesn't want to eat. Say, for instance, that item is green beans. Instantly, your child's brain recognizes this scenario and must choose which response to use in this instance. If the restaurant is relatively empty and no one is watching, your child's brain will send the message, "Eat some green beans and finish the food on your plate you do like." Pride. And somehow we as parents want to take credit for this. However, if the waitress happens to be at the table refilling everyone's water and a kind old lady has stopped by to tell you she has twin grandkids who are 6 and a man sees my hat and comes over to ask me how I think Virginia will do in basketball this year, the child's brain will key in on this context and send the message, "Scoop up green beans with your bare hand and throw them across the table while screaming, 'I don't like green beans!' then proceed to not eat any of your food and run around the restaurant." Mortification. And we guilt ourselves into thinking we have failed as parents, which isn't the case at all. Are you still skeptical? I promise, this is all true. I've tested it, and here is a graph of some preliminary results.

I hope this is helpful to those parents who feel the need to save face in public. Your children aren't purposely trying to act like Veruca Salt. They have just been blessed with incredibly complex cognitive abilities, and they are learning how to harness the power. I'm sure even Batman rolled over a few curbs before he perfected his Batmobile mojo; Superman probably hit a few trees in the beginning; Spiderman definitely got caught in his own web a few times. Children are constantly learning. This will continue until your children become teenagers, when the tables get suddenly turned. Until that glorious day, just roll with it.

Thankful

I was very fortunate to know 4 of my great-grandparents, all on my mom's side. I knew each of them well enough that I remember conversations we had, meals we shared, holidays at their homes, stories they told. My mom's maternal grandfather was PaPaw Wance (short for Lorance). I asked him once if he ever fought in the war, and he told me he was too young for WW1 and too old for WW2. That means he was a young man with a young family during the Great Depression. He was a Texas farmer from a long line of Texas farmers. He worked really hard, from what I remember, even after he had retired from farming. I'm pretty sure that what he considered to be "all in a good day's work," would bring me and most of the people I know to our knees. He had a huge garden that always yielded much more than he and Nanny could eat. He loved animals, and was especially keen at training horses and dogs to do tricks. He stopped going to school after 6th grade, yet he was able to manage the books for his farm, buy and sell several cars and other pieces of farm equipment, and he read the paper everyday. I'm pretty sure he never took a standardized state test for math and reading. When I was 12, PaPaw suffered a stroke and stopped being able to do many of the things he loved. He was still able to get around and visit with people, but I remember him being much quieter than he used to be. During Christmas of my 7th grade year, we spent the Holidays in Texas with family. This was our first Christmas in Texas in several years, and I was really excited to spend it with our large extended family. Junior high had been a huge eye-opener for me in so many ways, and traveling South just added to the magic of this very transformational year. We spent our time in Texas and Louisiana going from place to place, seeing this or that group of people or exchanging gifts with some different part of the family. It was exciting and exhausting, and I didn't want it to end.

One evening of the trip was devoted to "doing Christmas" with PaPaw and Nanny. My family, my aunts and uncles and cousins, and my grandparents all met at Nanny and PaPaw's old farmhouse early in the evening and proceeded to to what we always did when we got together. We ate, we laughed, we told stories, we ate some more, and unfortunately for me during this particular era in my life, I breakdanced (brokedanced?) for the entire family. But before any of these events had commenced, we gathered together as a family to pray. We stood in a circle holding hands, and my grandfather (Big Daddy) asked PaPaw to pray for the food and our time together. I remember him getting one or two words out before he got choked up and was unable to continue. This moment was profound for me. This was one of those heavy moments that left a massive wake, and the waves still wash up on my shores from time to time.  I didn't understand this at the time, but PaPaw showed me what it looked like to truly be thankful. He was at the end of his time on Earth, and he had the only thing that can truly make you happy. Acceptance, belonging, love. He was surrounded by it, and it was overwhelming.

There seems to be a lot of attention these days on acquiring stuff. Some people even cut their day of Thanks short to stand in line and get the best deals on more stuff. It's all stuff that will get old, break, slow down, become outdated, be sold. Even so, we can't get enough. We even buy stuff to help organize our stuff, then rent space to store it. I'm thankful to have memories like the one with my PaPaw that help me cut through the fog and see things as they really are. More than that, I want to live with a thankful heart for what I have found in the Lord and through the people he has put in my life. Acceptance, belonging and love. I want to see what PaPaw saw: To be surrounded by those things that truly fill my cup and bring peace to my soul, and to be left speechless.

Potty in the U.S.A.

Conflict in parenting is unavoidable. The truth is, if you care at all about your child's well being, there will be conflict. In essence, conflict is due to incompatible goals, scarce resources, or interference in achieving your objectives. For example, when you go to the store, you are there to buy whatever it is you went there to get. Your child, however, is on a vision quest find something he desperately needs for his survival. He doesn't know what that item is until he sees it on the shelf, and that item can change from aisle to aisle. But trust me, he will die without it. iPhones are another source of conflict. Your child wants to play Angry Birds, and this severely inhibits your ability to use your phone ... to play Angry Birds. Parent-child conflict is perhaps no more evident than with the issue of going potty. As adults, we approach going potty much like Forrest Gump: "When I had to go ... you know ... I went." We know from experience that some times and places are better than others for going potty, and our children just haven't figured this out yet. We have learned over time that there is a difference between a "desire" to go potty and a "need" to go potty. There are specific circumstances when we desire to go potty so that later on we will not need to go potty. At any given moment during the day you can actually measure this desire to go potty in any person. After about a year of rigorous research in this area, I have collected the following pilot data. The scale for this research is between 1 and 10. If the child is visibly resisting the act of going potty (e.g., performing "the grab," "the dance," or "the squeeze"), that child may be given a negative score. If the parent considers, even for a nano-second, letting the child have an accident in order to "know better next time," that parent receives a negative score.

As you can see, parents need not spend so much time convincing their children about the ideal time and place to go potty. They will figure that out eventually. What we need are more bridges.

For Love of God and Country

Sam and Nate showing off some more of what they have learned at school.

Toy-Buying Matrix

It dawned on me this morning that I was remiss in leaving readers of my last post with some practical tools when it comes to buying toys for children. I believe the Scatter Plot is a useful framework for making these kinds of decisions, but toy-buying is much more complex than simply analyzing how far and wide the pieces will be spread throughout your home and yard (thanks Paula!). In order to help with this process, especially considering Christmas is right around the corner*, I have created the following toy-buying matrix. I will follow this up with recommendations for scoring and interpreting these data. I have purposely kept the size of this instrument small enough that you can fit it on a note card, the back of a business card, or simply have it indiscriminately tattooed on your wrist. When you, your child or anyone else in your toy-buying network encounters a potential acquisition, simply give them this matrix, score it quickly and give them a response.

The scoring for this matrix is simple:

SD = 1; D = 2; N = 3; A = 4; SA = 5

The items in the matrix should be weighted with the following values:

• Item 1: x1
• Item 2: x2
• Item 3: x1
• Item 4: x3
• Item 5: x1
• Item 6: x5

After you have scored the desired toy, deciding whether or not to buy it should be a no-brainer. I ran a pilot study using this matrix this morning as I stopped by Walmart for a some toothpaste. Here are the preliminary results:

• Every ImagiNEXT toy: 47
• Thomas the Train: 26
• Any toy that actually flies or lands a jump: 49
• The Smurfs: 12

Happy Shopping!

*Walmart recently decided to move Christmas approximately 2 weeks after Halloween. If fact, if you time it just right you can buy your child a Halloween costume for Christmas at a very low price.

Scatter Plot

It may come as no surprise to those who know me that I like to be organized *cough* OCD *cough*. I like to have a place for things, and I like things to be in their place. This has been how I like things since I can remember, and I am willing to take extreme measures to maintain order. The only problem is, for the past 2+ years* there has been a very powerful force challenging my organizational endeavors. Actually, there have been two forces, and they share a bunk bed in one of the bedrooms off the kitchen. Now, it is easy to assume that if I was able to help the boys become as organized as me, the problem would be solved. Right? Make a place for all of their things, and teach them to keep those things in the right place. The barrier to this theory is that as the boys get older, their toys become increasingly harder to organize. The numbers on the boxes of childrens' toys currently look like this: 2+, 3+, 4+, etc. This is fine if all you think about is the age of the child. What those numbers don't tell you is that as the values increase, the number of pieces for that toy exponentially increase as well. In order to illustrate this point, I have created a series of scatter plot graphs that may be helpful for parents wanting to buy new toys for their children. Let me help you interpret these graphs:

• By "scatter" I mean how far and wide the pieces can be scattered throughout the house
• The size of the plots is in proportion to the size of the pieces
• The number of plots is in proportion to the number of pieces

These graphs increase in intensity (and potential parental frustration): Now, isn't this easier to understand? I suggest a graph like this be put on the packaging of childrens' toys rather than those arbitrary numbers. In fact, it wouldn't have to be a graph at all. They could just put the diagram with a warning that says, "This is what your floor will look like after your child is done playing with this toy." I have already crafted a cover letter to all of the toy companies for when I pitch this idea:

November 13, 2011

Dear <<toy company>>,

You're welcome.

Sincerely, Curby Alexander, PhD

* Sam and Nate did not pose a threat to my organization obsession for the first year or more of their lives. When they became mobile, things changed.

The House that Jerry Built

Last Friday, Gina and I headed to Cowboys Stadium with my parents and her parents to watch TCU play BYU in football. I was very excited to watch the Horned Frogs play against my all-time most hated team ever, the Cougars from Provo. Having grown up in Wyoming, going to USU and CSU for college/grad. school and now cheering for TCU, I have always had a legitimate reason to cheer against BYU.

But beyond the actual game was the fact that this competition was taking place in probably the most modern, fanciest and definitely most expensive stadium in the world ... Cowboy Stadium. I have wanted to see a game here since it opened, and I have to say Jerry did not disappoint me. Every aspect of this stadium was amazing and totally over the top. From the luxurious lounges and eating areas to the massive screen hanging over the field, this place was just awesome.

What made it more awesome was the fact that we beat BYU! The only thing more entertaining than seeing your team beat the Cougars is listening to scores of dejected BYU fans grumble about losing. This was especially gratifying to me after they came back and beat my beloved USU Aggies a few weeks back. Of course, it's the converse when they win. But we won this one, and that's all that matters.

Trick or Treat

Well, another Halloween has come and gone. This is always a fun time of year for us as we watch the boys get excited for wearing their costumes and getting LOTS of candy. As you can see from the pictures, GiGi makes the most amazing costumes and they love wearing them. For the first time this year, we asked Sam and Nate what they wanted to be for Trick or Treating. Sam was inspired by Ella's princess and prince dolls this summer, and he wanted to be a prince. We asked him if he was Prince Charming or Prince Valiant, and he replied, "I'm Prince Sam." It's hard to argue with that. Nate drew his inspiration from the Fort Worth Nature Center and Refuge, where they have a full grown Great Horned Owl. The costumes were spot on, and they drew quite a few comments from the people in our neighborhood. We also have a boat load of candy in our house, which is always bad news for me. PaPa made sure all of the neighborhood kids had plenty of treats while we were out making the rounds with the boys, which probably helped keep the tricks at a minimum. I'm sure these costumes will get used plenty of times in the next few months, so it will really be like Halloween never ended. Keep an eye out for more owl and prince pictures!

Raiders of the State Fair

I have been wanting to make one of these movie trailers with iMovie for a long time, and I finally was able to get it done today. I used some pictures from our recent trip to the State Fair of Texas for this little project. Enjoy!

Fall (is no time for a) Break

One of the benefits of working at a university is that we get breaks when the students do. That doesn't mean we don't always have things that need to be done over a break, but if the students are given time off so are we. About a week ago, TCU was on fall break, which means Gina got a 4-day weekend. UNT does not have a fall break, so I still had to work on Monday and Tuesday. No bitterness here. None. Really.

The first two days were spent at Granny and Granddad's house. Gina took them over on Friday afternoon and they all stayed until Saturday night. I spent the weekend doing mini-makeovers on some homes in Haltom City through the Building Community event at our church. While Gina, Sam and Nate went to a farm and played with Granny and Granddad, I scraped, painted, trimmed bushes and carried trash to a dumpster.But it was actually fun and helped some families out tremendously.

On Sunday, we relaxed and I recovered from all the manual labor on Friday and Saturday. I honestly don't remember what we did on that day because I was so tired, and so was Gina from two busy days in Garland.

On Monday, I had to go to work at UNT, so Gina took the boys to the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. They had a great time playing at all the different exhibits, and then Gina pulled the old "lets-eat-lunch-on-the-way-home" trick so the boys wouldn't fall asleep in the car. We have found that if the boys fall asleep in the car, even for a few minutes, they won't take a nap. And trust me, we want to ride the nap train as long as Sam and Nate are willing to keep it going. Later that afternoon, after I got home, we made Star Wars cookies with the cookie cutters Aunt Katie got the boys for their birthday.

On Tuesday, we decided to end fall break in style. Gina was still on break, and the boys and I played hookey from school to go to the State Fair of Texas. We went last year on a Friday afternoon, and we knew that we wanted to spend more time this year now that the boys are older and have a little more stamina. Emphasis on the word "little." The day at the fair was magical from beginning to end. Well, I will admit that we were all pretty cranky by the end of the day, and Sam did fall and smack his head pretty good right before the parade. So, that was a bummer, but other than some human error, the day was awesome. We started the day with a ride on the massive Texas Star ferris wheel, which is something I was very glad we did. We also let the boys ride some rides, and that was met with mixed results. Sam loved it, but Nate was not quite prepared for how fast these rides went. You can see him screaming in some of the pictures. Who is that cruel daddy who took pictures of his screaming child?!? We also got to see a dog show, stunt BMX riders, some cool model trains in the green house and of course we stuffed ourselves with a variety of fried foods. It should come as no surprise that the boys slept all the way home. By the time we got them to bed, Gina and I were spent. We pretty much went straight to bed and didn't move until the next morning.

An observation I have made about these "breaks" is that I am more tired after them than I was before. But at this stage in life I am OK with that. I guess the alternative is staying at home and taking it easy. But I know that these days with the boys won't last forever. They won't always look at every new experience with big eyes and wide smiles. They won't always be fascinated with the simple things I have learned to take for granted. I won't always be able to pull them around in a red wagon, and the day will come when they want to go off and explore the world without the company of mom and dad. They won't always fall asleep in the car the second it starts moving then let us carry them to bed without ever waking up. They won't always wake up early the next morning completely revived and talking about Big Tex and every other detail as if it were their favorite thing in the world. But they do that now, which is why "now" is the most important time in our lives. And it's also why "now" is my favorite time. Pretty soon "now" will be a memory and a new "now" will take its place and sweep us off our feet with more unexpected gifts that we never saw coming.

You can see more pictures of "now" in our photo album.

Chatterboxes

If you haven't seen Sam and Nate in a while, you might be surprised at how much they talk. They pretty much talk all the time. Here is a video of them yakking it up with Daddy.

Unexpected visitor

Today I was playing with Sam and Nate in the backyard when out of nowhere I noticed a small, white tornado swirling around my feet. Suddenly, Sydney is freaking out and growling, and Sam and Nate both look like a deer in the headlights. After a couple of seconds I was able to figure out what was going on, which was that our neighbor's Jack Russell terrier puppy managed to crawl under the fence and was now in our backyard. I stood there for a minute and watched her run from Sydney, and I realized she was a little freaked out herself. I don't think she could tell from the other side of the fence exactly how much bigger than her Sydney is. Of course, the puppy was not interested in Sydney. She was more interested in the boys. She immediately began jumping all over then, and they both lost it. I found this to be kind of funny. They both live with a 40+ lb. dog and think nothing of it. But the second a 10-pound puppy starts jumping on their chests and licking them on the mouth, they become terrified. Sam was hiding in our little soccer goal, and Nate just rolled on the ground crying. I let both boys back inside, and I had to figure out what to do with this puppy.

I took her back over to her house, but the owners were gone. So, we officially became dog sitters for about an hour. This is only fair, considering how much we have asked others to watch our dog. After a few minutes, she and Sydney got used to each other and they actually had a good time playing with each other. It took me about 5 minutes to make the following observations about Jack Russell terriers:

1. Their legs are spring loaded and they can jump about 5x their height, seemingly without bending their legs.
2. They never stop moving. Ever.
3. They are very, very cute, which may mask the previous two points.
4. They are extremely agile and seem to have no hesitation bounding up and down chairs, tables, children and other dogs.
5. They are really fast and hard to catch, even in a small backyard with very few places to go.

Gina had put a note on the neighbor's front door, and they came to get the puppy (who we found out is named Jackie) right as we were starting dinner. It was a nice chance to visit with Fong (the dad) and the two oldest daughters for a minute. It was also a nice chance for Fong to put up a barricade at the spot in the fence that Jackie used to make her great escape. This added a little fun drama to the day, but I have a sneaky suspicion we haven't seen the last of Jackie.

Dear Old UVa

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One of the benefits that potentially came with my job at the University of North Texas was the opportunity to travel to Charlottesville. My boss had just written a big grant with my former advisor at UVa, and I knew there would eventually be some site visits to the various schools involved in the project. After a full year at UNT, I had begun to think that the possibility to visit Virginia was just talk and I sort of forgot about it. Then out of nowhere, my boss told me he was going to be visiting Virginia and wanted me to come. I ran this by Gina, and she was OK with it. So, the trip was on and I was getting to visit dear old UVa once again.

Most of my visit was filled with meetings and site visits to different schools in Crozet and Charlottesville, but I did manage to visit some old haunts and see some great friends. The list includes my former advisor and some other colleagues and students from UVa, our old neighbor and his wife, and several great friends from Christ Community Church and ISI. I have included some pictures so you can see for yourself. I was not in Las Vegas spending the family fortune on gummy bears and pixie sticks.

As I expected, I experienced a lot of emotions during my 2 days in Charlottesville. Not really teary emotions, but mainly gratitude and amazement. The gratitude came from knowing none of this would have ever happened if Gina hadn't encouraged me to apply to UVa, then visit after I'd been accepted, then accept the fellowship that was offered after that visit. Our time in Virginia required quite a sacrifice on our part, and there were more than several times when we questioned whether or not we should be, or stay, there. It wasn't cheap, it wasn't easy, it wasn't lucrative, and it wasn't always certain. But then again, life can be like that no matter where you are. I learned that having each other, a strong community of believers, and faith that God was more faithful than our ability to predict the future went a long way in sustaining us through our 4 years there. Oh, and there's that little detail called "Sam and Nate." We met them in Virginia. So, I was very grateful to have Gina, and I wished at every turn that she and the boys could have been there with me.

The sense of amazement came from walking around Grounds at UVa and driving from place to place in the shadow of the Blue Ridge Mountains. It seemed like every time I looked up, I was hit with "Wow! This place is beautiful!" Not only was it beautiful, but because we took a leap of faith to go there, it is also inextricably woven into our story. I drove around town and walked all over Grounds like I was on autopilot, and it felt as if it were more than just knowing Charlottesville. I felt like Charlottesville knew me. I didn't hear any applause or feel any pats on the back, but it did my heart good to be somewhere familiar, a place that housed some of my most life-changing events.

I will end with that. My hope is that everyone has a place that is forever part of their heart and story. God created the Earth, then He placed us in it, and I think He knew that the places we occupy would help to shape us. Charlottesville and UVa definitely did that to me.

Grandparents Weekend

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This past weekend was very big for Sam and Nate. Not only did they get to spend time with both sets of grandparents, but they actually had their first sleepover away from Gina and I. We were invited to go see TCU v. Baylor down in Waco, and since it was a night game we knew we would be getting back very late. Too late, in fact, to try to take them home once we got back to DFW. So, Granny and Granddad agreed to let the boys try their first sleepover at their house. We prepped them for a couple of days and talked about how to behave, go to bed on time, all the usual sermons parents give their children. When the day finally arrived, the boys were very excited to go to Garland. We dropped them off and headed to Waco, and neither of us was totally sure how the night would play out. Well, everything went off without a hitch! The boys loved playing in the backyard and with the train set Granny has at her house. In fact, when I picked the boys up from school, Nate asked me, "Do you think Granny will let me play with her train set?" I think it is safe to say they got more than their fill of the train set.

After getting back to our house, we had to get everything ready for the arrival of GiGi and PaPa. They were in Shreveport picking up MaMa for a visit to Casper, and they stopped off in Fort Worth for a couple of days. The visit was a lot of fun, and the boys had a great time showing off for the grandparents and great-grandparent. It was very special for us to have everyone together in our home. The boys even got to show off two of their favorite things: the neighborhood pool and Kincaid's Market. Kincaid's has perhaps the best hamburgers in Fort Worth, and it is one of our favorite places to go. I think GiGi, PaPa and MaMa would agree.

Things definitely got quiet around here after all of our visits with the grandparents were over, and we already looking forward to when we get to see them again. One thing that still eludes me is how the grandfathers managed to stay out of most of the pictures.

Last Blast of Summer

A few weeks ago (I feel shame even as I type this for taking so long to keep the world updated on our family) we met cousins Jean, Carrie, Max and Wes at Schlitterbahn for a fun day of water slides, wave pools and lazy rivers. I have always wanted to go to there, and I have to say we weren't disappointed. The only thing I had to learn the hard way was that the lines for the really cool slides (which aren't really that cool, in my opinion) are VERY long. I wasted some valuable time standing in a line that I would rather have spent with the rest of the group. Oh well, some lessons you just have to learn from experience. I am pretty sure we will make this trip again, and next time we won't waste our time in any lines. You can see more pictures of the adventure on John and Carrie's blog.

Welcome to Wonderful Wyoming

It's hard to believe I have taken a month off from blogging. I intended to take a break while we were in Wyoming, but I didn't realize it would continue for another two weeks. Of course, the reason I have not been posting to the blog is because my time has been consumed with other activities like course planning, meetings, etc. Trivial stuff, I know, but I do like to think I do my part in helping pay the bills. :)

Another reason I have been reluctant to post is that we took so many pictures that it would take me forever to decide which ones to include in the slide show. As you may have noticed, I have started creating these little Flash slideshows to put in each post rather than filling up the page with pictures. Well, that isn't a big deal when we take 20 or so photos from an event. Even 100 photos isn't bad, but we took almost 500 pictures in Wyoming. That is way too many to sort through, so I will just give you the link to the whole album, and you can look through them yourself.

• https://picasaweb.google.com/111752999111963545783/August2011

Now, about the trip. It was awesome! What isn't there to like about spending all day with GiGi and PaPa, Ella and Katie? What can be bad about days where the high temperature is 82 degrees? Or where the low temperature is in the low 50's? This trip was definitely a nice break from the hot weather we've been having in Texas.

We started our vacation by visiting the Peterson family in Denver, some friends of mine from Casper. I have known them since I was a little kid, and they are pretty much like family to me. Sam and Nate loved playing in the basement with Courtney and Kylie, Matt and Shana's daughters. They had all kinds of toys the boys had never seen, and most importantly, they had cars to play with. Cars are a must. Matt's parents, Wayne and Kathy, came over for dinner that evening, and we had a great time visiting and enjoying the cool night air. Sam and Nate also tried their hand at volleyball, but they still have a bit to learn before they can participate in an actual game. After a restful night, we headed off to Casper to see GiGi and PaPa.

About an hour north of Denver, we got a call from my mom saying Katie and Ella's flight had been cancelled and they were renting a car to drive to Casper. So, we were all on the road at the same time (though separated by about 3 hours). When we arrived in Casper, the boys went through their ritual of finding the toys and began to take inventory. We ate a nice dinner, then my parents had to leave to get ready for Titanic, the summer musical they did this summer. Katie arrived a few hours later, and we had fun catching up with she and Ella. They were both pretty road weary from the day they had. You can read her account of the vacation here. The next couple of days were all about Titanic. Katie, Ella, Gina and I went to see it on Saturday night, then we all went back for the closing matinee with Sam and Nate to watch GiGi and PaPa sing, as well as the finale. I had seen the traveling Broadway cast do this show before, and it was quite the stage spectacle, but I have to say this little show held its own. The singing and acting were both pretty good, and my parents stole the show. My mom does quite a mean German accent, I must say.

The next week was all about having fun. You can actually see from the pictures some of the things we did. We stayed at the cabin one night and had all kinds of adventures, we went fishing, spent a day at Alcova lake, the ladies went shopping and had tea parties, and most of all we got to spend a lot of quality time together. GiGi even took the grandkids to see Barney's Birthday Bash at the Casper Events Center. I wasn't there, but the rumor is that Ella was best dancer in the joint. For one of the last nights in Casper, we met some of my high school soccer buddies at a park and played and visited until the sun went down. Each of these families has girls between the ages of 8 and 12, and one pattern I am starting to notice is that Nate really likes the attention he gets from older girls. :-) He started his vacation with Courtney and Kylie, and he ended it by entertaining Mackenzie, Emma and Marin. This should prove to be very interesting as he gets older.

The trip home had its own set of misadventures, but we made it home safely and in one piece. As all trips do, it ended way too soon, and I have found myself pining for the cool temps and familiar faces on more than one occasion. We are already looking forward to our next trip to Casper.

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

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Last weekend, we had the privilege of celebrating Gina's birthday. No seriously, it turned out to be a celebration that lasted Saturday through Monday. But we all know that she deserves it, and more. So, the boys and I wanted to make the weekend very fun and special for Gina.

Gina started the weekend with a ladies' brunch in Grapevine. She has been meeting regularly with some of her friends from First Baptist Church Euless, and this time they met at a cafe for brunch. If this gathering was like all of the others, there was a lot of smiling and laughing from all the ladies there. Later that afternoon, we all got dressed up and headed to Italianni's, a great Italian restaurant in Hurst where Gina and I had our first quasi-date.  I thought it was a date; she didn't. Well, now we're married, so it was a date. The food was amazing, as usual, and the boys loved eating their pizza and mac & cheese. Considering this was really their first excursion of the day, they behaved beautifully at the restaurant, and we can't wait to go back.

After dinner, I took everyone to Mountasia, a putt-putt/go-kart/video game place that I used to go to when I was living in Bedford. The boys had never played mini-golf, and this was also what Gina and I did for her birthday after moving to Wyoming, right after we got engaged. I thought this would be a nice trip down memory lane. What it ended up being was a trip into the ring of fire. The unofficial temperature on the mini-golf course was a bajillion degrees, and we were all sweating profusely after about two holes. This didn't stop the boys from running all over every square inch of Mountasia. To their credit, it's hard to resist running around a place that looks like a real mountain and has caves and waterfalls. I would have done the same thing at their age. In honor of Gina's birthday eight years ago, she beat me again in putt-putt. Of course, I was distracted trying to keep the boys from doing any cliff diving or rock climbing. At least that's what I tell myself.

On Sunday, we headed to Garland to spend some time on the lake with Granny and Granddad. The boys hadn't been on Granddad's boat in about a year, and we were eager to see how they liked it this time. Both boys were a little scared of the boat last year, especially when it started going fast. Well, this year, the boat couldn't go fast enough for them. They loved it every time Granddad pushed the throttle and started to speed across the water. In addition to getting to swim in the lake, I got to go tubing and Gina water skied. Let me pause here and just say: My wife rocks! She is a great water skier, even though she hasn't done it in several years. I was very impressed. After about 2-3  hours on the lake, we went back to Granny and Granddad's house and had enchiladas for lunch. We spent the rest of the day relaxing and visiting.

On Monday, we drove up to Tommy and Carol's house for some hot dogs, and yes, more cake. We had a great time catching up with everyone, whom we hadn't seen since they got back from their cruise. The boys played hide-and-seek with Kendall and Zach, and this turned out to be a great way to cap off the birthday celebrations.

I think it's safe to say that everyone had a great weekend and that Gina feels loved and appreciated. Now if I can only think of a way to up the ante for her 29th birthday next year! ;-)

Girl finds Boy

In June of 2002, I went to visit my sister in Boston. She had been living there for about a year as a missionary, and I was very excited to see her. I had never been to Boston, and there were so many things I wanted to see. I have always been somewhat of a Red Sox and Celtics fan, and given the fact that the Patriots had won the Super Bowl earlier that year, it was kind of the cool city to be in. Katie and I spent about a week hanging out and seeing many of the sites around Boston. We hung around the downtown area for a day and had lunch at Cheers. We went to a Red Sox game (that was worth the trip alone), and we even drove to Maine for a day to see a friend of mine from grad. school. It was a great trip that I will always remember. But the thing I remember most about that trip was the e-mail I had waiting for me when I got home. Yes, I went the whole week without checking my e-mail and I lived to tell about it. I had about 100 e-mails, but the message I remember most was from Gina, and she was wanting to catch up with me. I found this very strange because the last I'd heard she was very serious with her boyfriend, the one who moved to North Carolina to be closer to her. She explained to me that they were no longer together and that she was half-way done with her graduate program at UNC-Chapel Hill.

I think I wrote her back later that day or the next day, and she almost immediately sent a reply. Things went on like this for about a month or so, when Gina finally asked if I had any interest in talking on the phone. I have to admit, I was a little nervous to talk to Gina on the phone. I mean, when you are sending e-mails back and forth, you have some time to think about what you are saying and how you say it. You can manage your identity in just about any way you want. Want to be funny? You can carefully craft your wit. Need to be serious, or intellectual, or spiritual? You have time and space to think about what you want to say. When you enter the world of real time conversation, you have to be on your toes. And this is a problem for me, because I have a tendency to say really stupid stuff when I'm talking to people. Really stupid stuff. So, I had this gnawing feeling that this might be the beginning of the end of our correspondence.

We eventually exchanged numbers, and I finally got the courage to give Gina a call. Looking back, things went really well, but as is customary for me, the conversation took some very awkward turns. I have this really bad habit of taking conversations into really bad directions. I think we ended up talking about how people in Utah get married really young, and that when I was in college there I was usually the only single person in any of my classes. Who talks about that with a girl during your first real conversation? I can't even recall what led me down that rabbit trail, but I remember thinking to myself when we hung up, What was THAT all about?

That first phone call should have sent up all kinds of red flags, and it may have, but it didn't scare Gina off. We spent the rest of the summer e-mailing and calling each other. She sent me some pictures of her trip to Texas and Louisiana that summer, and I sent her this picture of myself (kidding!). I was starting to really like this girl, and I kept wondering when I would screw it up. I wanted to see if she was feeling the same way, so I decided to put some bait out there. At the end of one my e-mails, I dropped a little hint that I liked her. I won't tell you the line I used, but it wasn't as bad as, "Hey baby, do you like honey? 'Cause I bee thinking about you all day."

Had I known then what I know now about Gina, I would have known that my little hint became a major deal for her and she pretty much thought for a whole weekend how she was going to respond. At the time, though, I thought she just blew me off and she only wanted to be friends. So, besides feeling kind of silly for writing something so corny, I just moved on and thought I would still write and call her as long as she replied.

The next time  we talked on the phone, she actually mentioned my little hint and we talked about it. That is another thing I now know about Gina. She would rather just talk about something instead of dancing around it. I'm the dancer in the relationship. By the end of the night, we both admitted that we liked each other and wanted to see where this relationship was heading. I was feeling pretty good about this.

Every story has a moment of truth. I remember in 7th grade when a kid I was kind of friends with came to my house and tried to roll a joint in my room. I physically picked him up and shoved him out of my house. I believe that moment influenced the course of my life. Well, this story had a moment of truth, too. The circumstances that led to this moment were, well, strange, but it was a moment of truth nonetheless.

That summer I was teaching a couple of classes for Casper College, Public Speaking and Interpersonal Communication. Most of my students were non-traditional students who were coming back to college after working and raising kids for several years. It was not uncommon for my students to be my age or older. Well, I must have made quite an impression on one student because about a week after the class was over, she called me and asked me out. I was in total shock. Speechless. I said the first thing that came to my mind, which was, "I am very flattered, but I have a girlfriend." The funny thing was, I didn't feel like I was making an excuse. I actually felt like I had a girlfriend.

And from that day on, I did. I still do, except I married her so now she is my wife. But she is still my girlfriend. Actually my best friend would be more like it.

There are many more details in this story, but this seems like a good place to stop because from that point on a new story started. Like the story of our engagement. Or the story of our wedding. Then there was the Virginia story. Oh, and twins. We have twins. So, that's another story. Isn't is amazing? God has written us into an epic story, and if you stop to write about it you realize how amazing it is. All of these fantastic stories that weave together, and when you step back and look at the big picture, you see a life.

Cousin Time

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One of the highlights of this summer for Sam and Nate has been playing with their cousins. The boys got to play with their Roanoke cousins a lot during the past year, an activity they always looked forward to. They also got to know their Austin cousins a little better when we took a trip down there in May. Well, they can say they know all of their cousins even better after July.

Early in July, Tommy and Carol (Gina's brother and his wife) took a cruise in the Caribbean for a week, and Kierra, Kendall and Zach stayed with us for part of the time. The boys were very excited to have all of their Roanoke cousins under one roof for such a long time frame. We started our week with a family reunion in Simpson, Louisiana. The boys got to do a bunch of fun activities: meet some relatives they had never seen, go fishing in Uncle Norwin's new pond, ride the Gator, play with Briana and Shana and explore the farm (including an up-close view of the cows). We stopped by Shreveport to see MaMa Alexander for a couple of days on our way home, then we picked up Kierra, Zach and Kendall from Granny and Granddad's and headed to our house in Fort Worth.  The days were filled with swimming, ice cream, playing in the backyard and even a train ride. Our evenings included watching movies, playing games, relaxing and going to Chuck E. Cheese pizza one night. It was a lot of fun, and Sam and Nate did not want the fun to end. Gina and I, however, after having 5 kids under one roof, were ready for a break. All in all, it was a great time, and we would do it again. Though now that I think about it, maybe Gina and I will take the cruise next time!

This past weekend we got to meet some of our Austin cousins in Bear Country (Waco) to see the Mayborn Children's Museum. The only regret I have about the whole trip is that we told Sam and Nate about it ahead of time because all they asked about for 2 days was when they would get to see Max and Wes. The day finally arrived, and all 4 boys picked up where they left off. We started the day at Rudy's BBQ, then after our delicious lunch we went to the museum for a few hours. This children's museum is unbelievable and it is truly for kids. Every room has an exhibit with fun, hands-on activities for the children, and the boys ate it up. Sam said his favorite part was watching the model trains, and Nate loved playing with Max and Wes. After the museum, we went to John and Carrie's hotel and swam in the pool for an hour or so. We grabbed a quick dinner and headed back to Fort Worth. The boys slept the entire way back, then after a bath and some stories, they went straight to bed. The day was exhausting, but it was the good kind of exhausting where you look back and know you had a great day.

I'm positive there will be more cousin time this summer, and the boys will soak up every minute of it.