The following list was the result of a conversation I had with the boys on the way home from school today. This started because we were having dinner with some friends tonight, and I wanted to quiz them on what they should not say and what they should say when being hosted by another family.

Me: So boys, what happens if our hosts serve something you have never eaten?

Boys: We say "thank you" and try it anyway.

Me: Very good! And what should you never say?

Boy 1: You should never say, "I don't like this!"

Boy 2: Yeah, you should never say, "This tastes yucky!" That's rude.

Boy 1: And you should never say, "Will you cook me something else instead?"

Boy 2: And you can't ever tell the person you HATE their food!

Boy 1: You should always say you love it, and you should never go spit the food in the toilet!

Boy 2: And you should never tell someone their hiney smells like a toilet! They will probably punch you in the guts!

Boy 1: You should always tell people "I love you!"

Me: Well, I don't think you have to say that to everyone.

Boy 2: Yeah, you can tell some people, "I hate you!"

Me: No, that's not what I meant.

Boy 1: Telling people you hate them will hurt their feelings.

Boys 2: You know what else hurts people's feelings? Telling them you can see their stupid underwear.

Boy 1: Daddy, he just said stupid AND underwear!

Boy 2: And you should always use the word "hiney" instead of "butt."

Me: Wait, are you just telling me this stuff so you can use words you know you aren't supposed to say?

Silence.

Boys: Yes.